Ask anyone around me and they will tell you that I love being a father. For the past two and a half years, it’s been a non-stop marathon and adventure. Sometimes it seems to go very slowly and other times I blink and the weeks/months fly by.
Children change everything. Everything changed when I had my first child 2.5 years ago and now everything is finding its “new normal” now that my second child was born last week. Life as I know it has changed and continues to change. Some things I expected; others didn’t (count that you expected parenting to have unexpected challenges?), but these changes did happen (at least in my experience).
Parenthood has changed the relationship between me and my spouse.
Being responsible for the life of a little human being changed the dynamic between me and my spouse. It’s different now compared to how it was, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Our relationship has grown closer. Sharing the experience of parenthood together is something I’ve never shared with anyone else. We live together the sleepless nights, exhausting days and moments of emotional exhaustion. We have been each other’s rock to lean on. We’ve also shared each of our kids’ milestones and made lots of memories (and our kids haven’t even made it to kindergarten yet). I can see how the stress of parenthood can drive couples apart. Fortunately for us, we have put a lot of effort into keeping our relationship strong and positive. Out of all of that, we have created a special experience that has been a vital part of the foundation of our relationship.
Parenthood has changed my priorities.
Even before my first child was born, what was important to me began to change. She didn’t need the fancy brand “things” as much as she wanted them; what I wanted most was to be financially stable enough to support my family. That meant I got used to not buying fancy clothes or going out to restaurants just because I was hungry and didn’t feel like cooking. I was totally okay with keeping the clothes I had for a little longer and cooking more at home. (I found that cooking at home is cheaper, healthier, and a better experience for the family.) As much as I want to spend, I want to save more. Having enough is enough for me.
Parenthood has changed the way I see myself.
I have always seen myself as an ordinary guy capable of extraordinary things; Being a parent has pushed me to be more extraordinary. I no longer live for myself; I live for my family, especially for my children. I have to be a role model of how I want them to be. I also have to be how I want to be seen: someone virtuous, brave and loving. My relationship with his mother will be his future relationship with women. For whatever life throws our way, I need to be willing to be flexible. I have to be physically, mentally and emotionally strong for the difficult moments that need me. For them, I strive to be the best version of myself.
