I never wanted to go to college, I never thought I was smart enough. My father had different plans for me. He told me I was leaving. I wanted to take over the family business that was a bar. I mean, after all, in my last year in high school, I was taking classes like Chinese Literature and woodworking. I don’t think I took a college level class in high school, so how would a college accept me? I made a deal with my father, I would apply to three universities and if any of them accepted me, I would go. I applied to a university, a state school, and some school in the woods of Virginia. They all accepted me. I went to public school.
I think I mentioned this, but I’ll say it again. My first semester in college I had a cumulative 1.0 GPA. That’s a D. I got a letter from the university telling me to get in shape or they were going to ask me to leave. I showed my father the letter and said, “Look, I told you I couldn’t do it.” He looked at me and said, “You better do it because I’m selling the bar.”
I ended up graduating from college with a lot of help from the professors. My cumulative average: 2.9. If you do the math, you will find that they are almost all A.
What motivated me, you might ask? FEAR with a capital F. I had to do it. There was no safety net. Yes, I was scared, scared and many other things, but you know what … I did.
I once worked with a great psychiatrist and he made the most incredible statement you can imagine. He said, “Jim, before a child can be really disciplined, you have to be afraid.”
Not fear of physical punishment, but fear of disappointing someone, or even fear of a strong reaction. I think the word that has been lost today is respect. Usually I will respect what I fear. Do children today have a healthy fear of adults? Do they respect adults or better yet each other? Kids today
They believe they can say and do what they want, whenever they want. It’s time to start instilling healthy fear in our kids again and shutting down the thought that they might disappoint someone. I’m really sick of the “I don’t care” attitude. If it weren’t for fear, I wouldn’t be writing this essay right now.
