How do I make my wife love me again? It’s a serious question that unfortunately many men have to ask themselves at some point. When you live with someone every day, you quickly learn to read between the lines of what they do and say. There is a definite and undeniable change when a woman begins to stop loving her husband. She will no longer desire the physical closeness she once had, the words “I love you” will often become a thing of the past and the desire to spend time together, just doing everyday things, she will no longer be there. If you’re a man living in a marriage where this is happening right now, you’re probably wondering where the relationship is headed. You will also want to know if the broken connection between you and the woman you love can be healed. It absolutely can be. Before you cave in and decide the relationship can’t be saved, consider the simple things you can do now that will ultimately affect the bond you have with your wife.
Devote time strictly to your marriage
Do you remember when you and your wife got married for the first time? Looking back on that time now you probably realize how simple it all was. In many marriages, both spouses worked for the first few days and then devoted their evenings and weekends to mutual activities. As time takes over in a marriage, many things can change. This is especially true when children become part of the family and when one or both embark on a quest to capture the ideal career. There is always a trade-off when a married couple moves to a new location, and often that trade-off becomes the close bond the couple once shared. It’s not uncommon for many married couples to one day realize that they are no longer lovers or best friends, but are now donning the hats of co-parents and roommates.
The only way to change this is to put some focused and thoughtful effort into it. If you allow your marriage to continue on the same path as it is now, you and your wife will never recapture the loving connection you once had. That is why you should look at this as the most important project of your life. You have to sit down and come up with a plan that allows you the opportunity to not only spend more time alone with your wife, but also to show her what a gift she is to you.
Ask your wife what she needs from you
Most men prefer not to immerse themselves in conversations about emotions and problems in their marriage. However, this is a time that is imperative if you expect your wife to feel close to you again. This doesn’t have to be an awkward exchange between the two of you and it doesn’t have to end in an emotional argument. You should approach your wife in a compassionate way with the idea of talking about what is going on in your marriage and what you both want from it.
You need to set the tone for this, so do it at a time when you feel exceptionally strong. Do it in an environment where you won’t be interrupted. You must trust every ounce of patience and understanding you have during this discussion, and it is important that you listen and be open to any suggestions, critical or otherwise, that your wife shares with you.
Encourage her to tell you how she feels right now about the marriage and about you. Reiterate the fact that you are not trying to start any kind of conflict, but are looking for a solution that will enrich your marriage and get you back on a positive and loving path.
Take what you learn from your spouse and use it
If your wife shares with you what she thinks you need to do to contribute more to the happiness of your marriage, try not to get defensive. Instead, see it as a lesson in what you can do to become the husband she needs you to be.
Women, in general, find a lot of comfort and satisfaction in very simple things. Her wife may just need to know that she still loves her. You can show it by verbally telling her how you feel, writing her a heartfelt letter, or even sending her a text in the middle of the day expressing how excited you are to see her.
If your wife’s life is very hectic, consider helping her by taking on a few chores to ease her workload. By making dinner once in a while, taking the kids to the park for your wife to have some alone time, or even doing laundry, you’ll show your wife that you value her and her time.
Hold her hand more, gently rub her shoulder when she feels tense, and bring her a surprise gift every once in a while, even if it’s just a carnation in her favorite color. Any little gesture like this says a lot about how deeply you appreciate and care about her.
By putting more effort into your marriage, you can effectively change the dynamic so that your wife becomes emotionally attached to you again. Don’t see this as a quick fix, but rather as a transition to a more mutually satisfying marriage. If you love your wife and marriage is the most important thing to you, take care to show it to her.
