There are certain times of the year when being single can be especially difficult. Long holiday weekends, Valentine’s Day, family vacations, and key social events can often seem like cozy family or couple arrangements, and at those times, being single can feel particularly lonely and loveless.
The fact that the days and weeks after Christmas and the holidays are two of the busiest times of the year for divorce attorneys can do little to provide comfort or alleviate loneliness and the feeling that we are missing out on something special. Sometimes we can sigh and feel like we really don’t want to be single anymore.
– Many people who don’t want to be single choose to join online dating sites and these can be an efficient way to find someone with similar tastes and interests who fit our criteria. These sites often offer good practical advice when making your presentations. For example, be careful about how much personal information you disclose and limit the first meeting to one hour so that neither person feels trapped for an indefinite period of time. If you get along, your next date can last as long as you want.
– Stay safe. Trust your instincts if something feels wrong and arrange for the first meeting to be in a public place. An increasing number of people are using these sites with success, but it’s still a good idea to tell a friend where you’re going and maybe have them call you after an hour to make sure you’re okay.
– Accept if friends, colleagues or someone in your circle offers to introduce you to someone they know. The person may be a good fit for you, so why not agree to meet them? Even if nothing comes out, you’ve put someone new in and done something different. Being able to socialize and talk to new people is an important skill that can quickly be lost if we’re out of practice and haven’t been out for a while.
– Manage your expectations. It can be exciting to have fireworks go off when you first meet someone, but don’t invest all your hopes and dreams in a new relationship from the start. Having a nice hour or two for coffee, lunch, or a walk can be a great way to initially get to know someone and can lead to making a special new friend, even if it doesn’t turn into a lover.
– Make invitations. Be proactive and stay on mailing lists for what’s happening locally. You can then arrange trips to shows, exhibitions and events. Join when others do the same and invite you to join them. Circulate regularly so that you add to your network of contacts while you have a good social life and keep up with what is happening around you.
– Do things you enjoy. Volunteering, joining a class, walking in a group, or doing an activity you enjoy keeps you busy and also allows you to mingle and meet people who have similar interests as you. Enjoy getting together, sharing activities, making friends and little by little you can develop a loving relationship with someone with whom you have already established a fun connection.
– Don’t try too hard. Relax and be yourself. And remember that being single is not the end of the world! Many people in unhappy relationships no doubt envy you for your freedom and ability to do what you want when you want.
Appreciate each stage of life and enjoy the opportunities that come your way. Single or in a relationship, each situation has its pros and cons. Being comfortable with yourself and your life takes the pressure off of finding a new partner and often leads to a new relationship when you least expect it.
