What do you think of the following quotes?:
“Humility does not mean thinking less of yourself than other people, nor does it mean having a low opinion of your own gifts. It means being free to think of yourself at all.”
~William Temple
“Swallow your pride once in a while, it’s not getting fat!”
~Author unknown
“What kills a skunk is the publicity it gets.”
~Abraham Lincoln
“A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.”
~Benjamin Franklin
“Most of us retain enough of the theological attitude to think that we are little gods.”
~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
“There are two kinds of egoists: those who admit it and the rest of us.”
~ Laurence J. Peter
Great wisdom can be seen in these quotes and their underlying message.
But is the humility that they refer to and that you and I hold dear really holding us back?
This may seem like a strange statement because many of us were taught to be humble from a very young age, especially if you attended church and/or read books on personal growth, spirituality, and energy. In fact, you have probably read or heard that it is important to remain humble and unassuming.
While it is important to remain humble, it is equally important to know WHEN to do it.
With the expansion and growth of the self-development movement, the message to be humble has become quite prevalent. And while that’s accurate, that’s only half the message.
If you and I were giving a seminar together to a group of 1000 people and I started congratulating you and sharing with the whole group how great you are and started listing some of your wonderful qualities, what would be your first reaction?
Was it to say no, no, and then try to draw attention to myself by paying me compliments? Would you downplay the snap or do what a lot of comedians do: identify some of your weaknesses just to show the audience that you’re human or more slowly than I was describing?
There is great importance in these questions as a popular trend has started in this area of people not respecting and honoring themselves. Instead of taking pride (for a moment) in their strengths, the tendency is to downplay themselves. And the key question for us is why?
When a person downplays themselves, it’s usually because they were taught to do so. Many people are actually much more insecure than we think. The result, then, is the tendency to play on insecurity by minimizing one’s abilities.
Just as humility has its purpose and its place, as everything does, there is also a time to honor one’s own strengths and abilities. If we hold back what we believe to be our gifts, then clearly we are… HOLDING.
Instead of holding back, if that’s what’s happening, it’s time to honor your gifts!
Here are six simple ways to recognize your strengths and honor yourself:
1. Instead of resisting a compliment, openly accept it and say thank you.
2. Create a list of your top 5 strengths and add to that list every time you meet a new one.
3. Recognize that it is just as important to acknowledge your strengths as it is to be aware of your weaknesses and then let them go.
4. The best way to have a great interview for a job, for example, is to let your confidence shine. Confident people don’t usually brag out loud about all their strengths; however, they are usually very aware of their presence. As a result, that awareness is naturally felt by others.
5. Realize that any judgments we have about boasting are as much a part of the ego as the boasting itself.
6. When you see or hear someone who brags or seems confident or even overly confident, say, “Good for him/her!”
The essential message here is that you give yourself permission to express yourself however you are called. Sometimes that will mean openly acknowledging your strengths, while other times you’ll keep them to yourself. Either way, ideally you should allow yourself to be who you are and not try to hold yourself back by living up to a standard of humility that others may speak of.
It takes great trust, clarity, certainty, and security to experience and share true humility! Just remember that it’s okay to be who you are, even if it means taking pride in your own abilities and accomplishments!