My husband says there is no hope for us or our marriage.

I often hear from wives whose husbands tell them that there is no hope for marriage anymore. I recently heard from a woman who had been doing everything she could to save her marriage. They had gone to counseling. They had traveled. They had “worked” on the marriage. And while the wife felt that she had seen some improvements, the husband did not. Basically, he had told the wife that he felt there was “no hope” for the marriage. He told her that he was going to seek a divorce soon and felt that they should go their separate ways.

The wife had a hard time accepting that there was no hope for them. She was of the firm belief that if her husband were open-minded and gave marriage a chance, there would certainly be hope. But, she couldn’t seem to convince him of this and she wasn’t sure what to do. I will discuss more about this matter in the following article.

Your husband cannot take away your hope without your permission: Obviously, the two spouses had a different vision of marriage and the future. This happens sometimes. But, one person’s perceptions do not always have to be the same as the other’s. And sometimes people’s perceptions are wrong and can change over time, especially if you’re successful in showing them something that changes their minds.

That is not to say that the husband was not firm in his beliefs. But the two obviously had a different perception. And, the wife did not need to give up hers just because his was different. I have seen many marriages on the obvious brink of disaster turn around, even when both parties had apparently given up hope. So, not having hope does not always mean that you have to give up yours. This is really your choice because your perceptions are shaped by your own feelings and decisions, not his.

Don’t worry so much about defining or quantifying the relationship all the time. Just focus on making improvements and see where that leads: People often use descriptions of their partner as a kind of indicator of how things will turn out. Many people will hear the words “hopeless” and immediately shut down or consider giving up. And sometimes this makes sense if you keep trying the same things that don’t work and then cause you pain. There is nothing wrong with making the best decision for you or changing course.

But sometimes you can get so caught up in the definitions that you allow it to make you lose sight of what you want or prevent you from making improvements. I often tell myself not to get so caught up in what people say every day or “controlling” how you feel at every moment. Things can and do change. There is no point in hanging on to every word before something has definitely happened.

Sometimes it’s much better if you just focus on small goals that allow you to feel some personal hope. In other words, if you’re just trying to improve the give and take between you or to see even some small improvements in the way you interact and feel, this often feels much more doable than trying to change your mind or save Your marriage. night.

You really can’t know what tomorrow will bring. But even small gains can really provide the foundation for much bigger gains in the days, weeks, and months ahead. Sometimes slow and steady really wins the race. When it’s not completely obvious what you’re trying to do, you’re often met with much less resistance, which can really make all the difference.

It is not always hope that saves marriages. It is gradual action that leads to new insights: As counterintuitive as it may seem right now, you don’t always have to believe 100% that everything is going to work out perfectly. Sometimes you can take small steps and feel your way as you go, moving towards the places where you see improvements and away from the places where you encounter obstacles.

And, it’s not uncommon for husbands to begin to change when they’re shown (rather than told) that things can change without an unbearable amount of work or sacrifice on their part. The key really is to start making small improvements that are sustainable but substantial enough to change the outcome. You probably know your marriage well enough to know where these efforts and changes are most needed.

So while he’d probably feel a lot better about you if you knew he’s as hopeful as he was, it’s not necessary for his perceptions to become yours. This husband had not yet filed for divorce. There may still be time. Therefore, if she knows in his heart that there are still some actions that she must take, there is nothing to say that she cannot control her own actions and try new things. This may work and it may not work, but at least you will know that you did everything you could and that you did not get carried away by someone else’s perceptions that were not your own.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back To Top