RELATIONSHIP VISION
Aligning values in relationships is a good thing to do intentionally. Think about how most people go through their relationships. Does one person give up important values for the other? Is there conflict in the relationship? These things usually happen when values and beliefs are not discussed and they do not align with each other. Most conflicts in any relationship are due to different values or beliefs. After all, if we all agreed on what is most important, there would be no need to argue. A relationship mission statement can help!
WE ALL COME FROM DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS
Think about how you grew up, your environment, money, food, school, and many other things. Did your partner grow up the same? Did your parents teach you different lessons regarding television, food, religion, or friends and then your partner? We all bring expectations to our relationships, but most likely they are not the same for each of us. So why do we think that things are supposed to work magically without talking about it, without creating goals or aligning values? Eventually, if the bumps can’t be softened, couples tend to look for someone like me. This is not a bad thing, seeing a professional can be incredibly helpful and restore peace and longevity to your relationship.
REGISTRATION WITH YOUR PARTNER
For now, let me provide you with an easy way to communicate, communicate, and look to the future. Creating a Relationship vision it is a simple and useful tool. It doesn’t take long and can really point to lasting happiness in your relationship.
Some Steps to Create a Relationship Vision Sit alone for about 30 minutes. Remember it doesn’t have to be done in one day.
SIMPLE STEPS TO FOLLOW
1. Go for the positive
When brainstorming, state things positively. For example, instead of saying “we don’t argue,” say “we’ll settle things calmly and peacefully” or “we trust each other” instead of “we won’t be jealous.”
2. Write your wishes and non-negotiable
Write down your “must-haves” such as “we will parent together” or “exercise is important” or “we will communicate openly and respect each other’s perspective.” You can also write things like “leaving our union is non-negotiable”, “monogamy is of the utmost importance”, “attending church is a priority”, “traveling and experiencing the world with my partner is a priority”. Make sure it is not a laundry list for your partner, that is, he mows the lawn and she does the laundry.
3. Explore various areas of a relationship
Since we have a multifaceted life, it is important to address as many of them as you think necessary. Expressing wishes, desires, and values with sex, finances, lifestyle, parenting, professional in-laws, free time, and education are just a few of the things you can consider at You Relationship Vision. Answer questions about these topics, such as what do I enjoy in my free time? How important are finances? Do I want to work full time? Do i need a 401k? What about insurance? Should my job provide this? What percentage or amount of time do we spend with in-laws? How do we allow them to interact with children? Is sex satisfying? Do we want to explore new sexual ideals? Do the answers align with my values?
4. Come together
Get together as a couple and first discuss the things you agree on. Then discuss what is negotiable and create short sentences that express what is important to both of you. Save the things you disagree on for last. See if you can compromise on these issues, if not, this is where someone like me comes in. Having a professional help couples get through tough things is helpful and will benefit your relationship for a lifetime.
5. Make your statement.
It doesn’t have to be long, complicated, or directive. For practical purposes, it’s best to keep it concise, covering the general topic of your intentions for your relationship.
Examples of
We are co-creators of our lives, we share the desire to love and be loved unconditionally, consciously determining our behaviors and the results we want for ourselves and our family. We value respect, trust, non-judgment and self-control. We bring the best of ourselves into this union, expelling destructive and self-centered motivations so that we can achieve the most positive and loving lifestyle of which we are capable.
We agreed to always love and appreciate each other and acknowledge how lucky we are both; we each consider ourselves the ‘lucky one’. We build a healthy lifestyle together, where we support each other to exercise, eat well, have fun, rest and relax. We make all the important decisions together, as a team. We do not keep secrets. We trust each other and feel safe in caring for each other.
We are together to build a loving family and teach our children about healthy relationships. We create a sense of stability by having some routine, but we also take time for fun and spontaneity. We didn’t intentionally hurt ourselves, but we acknowledge that we still do, so we quickly and easily apologize. we take care of each one.
6. Schedule an hour
Weekly, monthly, quarterly or whatever works for you, but be sure to meet up to assess whether you are on the right track. This is the best way to ensure that both of you meet your needs and can address them if they have strayed. This will also provide room for growth. Since nothing in life stays the same, people, situations, events or relationships, this provides space to renegotiate, change your vision of relationship as both of you change.