Why won’t your man commit?

As a relationship coach, women often ask me why their

partners deceived them or why their men do not establish a

wedding date. “After all,” they tell me, “we are in a compromise

relationship. “Maybe you’ve been there. In all cases, I ask

these women, “what do you call a committed relationship?”

For most women, commitment looks like this: You date

Get exclusive, you have sex. Therefore, you are in a

committed relationship, right?

In reality, even if you are engaged, your partner is probably

do not. Assuming that if you are engaged, your partner is

Engaged is probably the leading cause of dating problems




Remember, there is a big difference between being

committed, and be in a committed relationship. Needed

two people to have a relationship. And it takes two people

both are engaged, to have a compromise


So what is the definition of commitment? A good model

it already exists. They are the wedding vows that most couples recite

during weddings. “For better and for worse, in sickness and in

health, etc. “Full commitment means you will stay in the

relationship no matter what comes.

Realistically, few of us are really willing to fully commit.

Total commitment would mean staying even through the

abuse, serious mental disorders or chronic infidelity.

Therefore, most of us define commitment as staying in a

relationship unless something extreme happens. Each one of us

has its own definition of extreme, but the intention

is to have a permanent relationship.


You’ve been exclusively dating and had sex. Your

Consider yourself engaged, but you’re not sure about it.

He never says engagement words, he doesn’t offer a ring

and a wedding date, and never talks about your future


According to many of us relationship coaches, their man is

probably in the pre-engagement stage. If any of you are

in the relationship until someone better comes along, you are

in a pre-committed relationship.

In the pre-engagement stage, your partner may be faithful, he

he can act like you two are a couple, he can even tell you

he loves you. But if you don’t verbalize your desire for a

permanent relationship and is not willing to “go public” with

that desire, then it is precommitted. And pre-committed

means that you are number one in his life, until someone

better come.

It can be daunting to listen to, but you’re wasting your time.

plan your future together unless there is clear evidence

commitment by both partners. Committed relationships

it cannot exist unless and until both people commit.

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