Unless you are very lucky and marry your childhood sweetheart and stay together forever, chances are you have experienced a breakup. They are never kind, whether you are the instigator or the abandoned. Both are roles that are heartbreaking. But I’m not here to talk about the abandoned; I’m here to talk about the instigator, the dumper however you want.
If you are the person instigating the breakup, then I think you have a duty to respect the other person to make it as painless as possible, as well as as painless as any breakup can be. So here are some tips on how not to break up.
Do not cheat– If you feel that your relationship is not going very well and you want to start looking for another adventure, do the decent thing to break up with your current partner before moving on. It’s not fair for the other person to cheat on you; it can have serious effects for years, if not the rest of her life, on her ability to trust other people.
no emails – It’s not classy or respectful to break up with someone over text, email, Facebook, or God forbid Twitter. You have shared a moment of your life with this person and you must have had happy moments, so be kind. The old-fashioned face-to-face is still the best method, at least they deserve it.
no character assassination – Okay, so it didn’t work out between you two, you really pick on each other for whatever reason and the spark just isn’t right. Don’t list a long list of reasons why they’re breaking up, it doesn’t help them at all, that’s their personality and people rarely change. Someone will love you for who you are, but sadly it didn’t work out between the two of you.
never during dinner – When you break up with someone he’s probably going to cry, he might even yell at you, he might be mad, you just don’t know. He could be nice and friendly if they expected him. But the last thing they both want is to wash their clothes in public as they say. Go for a walk, find a quiet place and out of the reach of the public, maybe they can go to your house, or better yet go to theirs, since then you can leave whenever you want too. Find a place where the two of you can talk about it, maybe even work it out.
If it’s over, it’s over. – If you really want to break up with them forever, do not give them hope of reconciliation, as they will cling to this. You have to be clear that you don’t want to be with them anymore and that it’s over. It’s never a good place to be, but it’s what’s best for them so they can move on.
Breaking up is never easy, but if you treat the other person with the respect they deserve, at least you can walk away with your head held high.