Using the Chinese solar calendar, each person has a certain element based on the year of birth and gender. This is not to be confused with the Chinese astrological system, which does not differentiate by gender.
The compatibility of the personal trigrams is based on the two specific sequences (nurture and control) of the Theory of the Five Elements.
The parenting sequence
- Since water nourishes wood, people who have the Kan (water) trigram will be very supportive of people who are the Chen or Sun (both are the wood element) trigrams.
- People who are the Chen or Sun (Wood) trigram will nurture those born under the Li (Fire) trigram.
- People born under the Li (Fire) trigram will nurture people under the Earth trigram.
- Kun and Ken are both earth trigrams. The people of the Kun and Ken (earth) trigram will nurture the metal people. The metal trigrams are Tui and Chien.
- Finally, the people of the Tui and Chien trigrams (metal trigrams) will nurture the people of the Kan (water) trigram.
This nurturing relationship can be found between partners, spouses, parents of children, siblings, friends, and co-workers. It helps explain easy and supportive relationships.
control sequence
According to the Five Elements Theory, people who are in a dominance cycle with each other may have some power struggles or relationships may be more controlling or exhausting:
- A Kan (water) person will dominate a Li (fire) person.
- A Li (fire) person will dominate a Tui or Chien (metal) person.
- A Tui or Chien (metal) person will dominate a Chen or Sun (wood) person.
- A Chen or Sun (wood) person will dominate a Kun or Ken (earth) person.
- A Kun or Ken (earth) person will dominate a Kan (water) person.
The way I just defined these relationships is based solely on the elements and whether or not the trigrams (as elements) are in a productive or dominating cycle with each other. In contrast, the East/West school divides the eight trigrams into two groups and their compatibility relationship is based on that alone.
For example, the “western” types of people are Ken, Kun, Tui, and Chien. These turn out to be all the earth and metal trigrams. Even in the Five Element Theory, earth always supports metal, so there is no contradiction in saying that all people of the western type turn out to be compatible because they all match or complement each other as elements.
With the ‘eastern’ type people, we have Sun, Chen, Li and Kan. There is a dominance relationship within this group. They are Li and Kan. This has been described as water dominating fire and yet both are trigrams of the east group. So are they compatible as people in this group or are they not compatible as items? The answer is that they are compatible, but one controls the other. It’s just a subtle difference from the other trigrams.