When our marriage ended in 1999, we had a house and three dogs. The house was sold and we agreed that the dogs should live with me because I was working from home but my husband had a full time job outside the home. As you can imagine, he was very happy with that solution, although caring for three dogs put a strain on my finances at the time.
After my ex-husband found himself a new apartment, he told me that he wanted to be in contact with the dogs and take them for walks two or three times a week.
This was not good news because I didn’t want to see him almost daily! I mean, when you break up, you really don’t want to see your ex that often, do you?
Anyway, we had agreed to part as friends and the dogs still loved him very much. So how could you deny your request? We finally agreed that he would come to pick them up on Tuesdays and Fridays for two hours.
The dogs enjoyed their walks, and in the end, I was quite happy to have two dog-free afternoons when I didn’t have to take them for long walks.
The agreement ended when it became clear that for economic reasons I had to give up one of the dogs and he took it.
Since then, many people have asked me if it would be good for their dogs if their ex-partner still took them out from time to time. I even know of a couple who agreed that her dog should spend a week with him and a week with her.
The question is: Can a dog cope with two primary caregivers who don’t live together, or is a dog someone who needs to be attached to one person exclusively?
Does it hurt a dog if a person with whom he used to share his life takes him for a walk?
I do not think so. I’m sure a dog benefits when he can maintain his relationship with his “other” partner. After all, it’s not the dog who parted ways with his mistress or master, it’s the mistress and master who decided to go their separate ways.
If your ex wants to see the dog, there is nothing wrong with that idea from your dog’s point of view.
Whether you like it or not is something else.
Sometimes being generous is a good thing; On the other hand, if you really hate your ex, it might not be such a good idea after all.
The advice I give my clients is this:
If both you and your ex-partner are sure that all you want is to take care of the dog on a regular basis, it may be worth a try.
If, on the other hand, either of you is trying to avoid the final breakup or reboot through the dog, it may not be a good idea after all because it means the dog is just being used as an excuse not to do it. . accept their mutual decision.
Whichever way you decide, remember: neither children nor dogs should become weapons against each other when it comes to a divorce or relationship breakup.