To keep the romance alive and foster intimacy in your marriage, you’ll want to know several ways to express your feelings to your spouse. No doubt there will be times when you’ll want to devote a significant amount of time and energy to a project that shows your love for your spouse in a major way, such as planning a surprise birthday dinner that includes family and friends or a new deck. that you spend several weekends building.
But it is also important that you know a series of small gestures that you can do to convey feelings of love frequently. Little expressions of love and appreciation add up over time and can help ensure that your relationship maintains its special sparkle and shine.
Here are fifteen ways to say “I love you” that you can easily implement even during a busy work week:
1. Blow a kiss to your spouse as you walk across the room. Smile and let your eyes sparkle mischievously. You could remain silent, or you could say something like “Catch!” or “This is for you!”
2. Surprise your spouse by kissing the back of their neck while sitting in a low-backed chair that allows easy access to their neck, such as a dining room chair or computer chair. (For an extra reaction, you can lick his neck a stroke or two with your tongue after you kiss him.)
3. Give her (or him) a short neck and shoulder massage.
4. Leave a sweet message on your voicemail.
5. Send a short but sweet email. (Don’t send your spouse sexually explicit emails at work. Save them for your personal email account.)
6. Write a one-sentence note describing a specific trait or quality you love in your spouse, such as “I love your beautiful blue eyes that remind me of the sea.” Or you could write: “I love the amazing muscles on your shoulders that make you look so strong and sexy.” Put this note in your spouse’s purse, lunch or briefcase, or on the pillow on your bed.
7. Give your spouse a long, wet kiss, accompanied by a full-body hug. (Many relationship gurus advocate that couples do this at least once a day.)
8. Hug your spouse and scratch their back at the same time. If you’re lucky, your spouse will also scratch your back while you scratch hers.
9. Give your spouse a compliment. Be specific, such as “You look great in that new sweater. I love how that color looks on you!”
10. Tell your spouse something specific once that you appreciate him (or her) doing. For example, you could say, “I really appreciate how hard you work to earn extra income” or “You’re a great dad, always so patient with the kids!”
11. When you’re at the grocery store, buy something special for your spouse: a favorite candy bar, choice fruit, small plant, long-stemmed rose, special cheese, festive balloon, etc. . When you get home, say “I bought something special just for you because you are so special.” Or wait until later and leave the item with an ‘I love you’ note for her (or him) to find.
12. Find some small act or task that you can do for your spouse to make life easier. For example, without asking, Lee often empties my office trash can when he sees it’s full. Or he might offer to make a phone call to save you time on a busy day. These kinds of gestures say “I love you and I want to show you that I care about you.”
13. The next time you have to buy a birthday card for someone, also buy five or six cards that your spouse would like. They can be romantic cards, cards to think of you or funny cards. Once or twice a week, mail one to your spouse to arrive at the office or home, or leave a card in the car on the driver’s seat or somewhere else for him (or her) to find it .
14. When you buy “take home” food containers at a restaurant, then secretly take your spouse’s container out of the fridge and decorate it. You can draw two hearts together with her name on the hearts and write “I love you” in her (or his) box.
15. Find poems or song lyrics that you can give to your spouse to communicate your loving feelings. Check out the great selection of love song lyrics at http://www.theromantic.com/lovesongs/main.htm. Just print out a few of your favorites (use special paper to make it extra special) and save them, ready to pull out and give to your spouse with a note that says, “This expresses how I feel about you.”