Since women make up around half of any population, they should have no difficulty in obtaining the same rights as men. But only a minority of women want these rights and they have to fight against the attitudes of other women as well as against those of men. Most women are happy to settle for a more traditional role based on their reproductive role. this is natural. Women define their lives in terms of their relationships rather than their own talents, which makes them dependent on a man for support. Sex is the currency of relationships with men. Very few women comment on sex.
Men obviously don’t get enough sex (the variety and type of activity) from their relationships with women. Otherwise, men would not seek out prostitutes and extramarital affairs as they do. The corollary is that women who have relationships with men tend to have more sex than they want. This is the eternal dilemma of the heterosexual couple. Women insist on monogamy because they offer sex in exchange for the emotional comfort of a man’s commitment. The male sex drive makes promiscuity attractive to many men, so women must compete with each other for male attention.
In Western society it is socially acceptable for attractive young women to display their bodies for male admiration. Young women proudly defend what they see as their right to display themselves as a vital aspect of their sexuality. Men are motivated to show off when their penis is erect. So they assume that a woman shows her body as a means of making a sexual invitation because she is aroused. The difference is that women put themselves on display to gain approval and be admired in a platonic way.
Men are turned on by women every day, but few of these women offer sex. This causes resentment among women because men’s partners are expected to provide the sex men need to release the frustration caused by being surrounded by half-dressed women. Men assume such women are aroused even though there is no evidence of female sexual frustration. A dress code that is the same for everyone, that respects the sexual desire of men.
Men compete with each other. But they also collaborate. They join forces with each other to fight a common enemy. Women compete with each other for men. Women don’t cooperate because any other woman is a threat. Women never honestly compare notes about sex because of politics.
Some women enjoy the attention they get from promoting themselves sexually. They trust that no one will be able to assess their willingness to do more than flaunt their bodies and sexual egos. Only a lover knows if a woman is willing to offer sexual pleasure, engage in sexual games, and indulge in erotic fantasies. Apparently “There is honor among men.” There is little honor among women. Human nature does not vary much between the sexes. There is always a desire to protect one’s interests.
The issue of female orgasm with a lover is at the center of sexual politics. Men want to feel valued as lovers. Women want to keep men happy in bed to get other things in return, like love, support, and companionship.
Some women think it’s cool to emulate male bravery, so they imply that they use men for sex. Of course women use men for sex! But women are motivated by ego, by money and by love. They are not motivated by sex itself or even by orgasm. In this sense, women are not sexually motivated.
A key characteristic of female sexuality is women’s desire to be attractive to men. This is due to the great advantage women get from men in exchange for offering sex. Some women think they can define orgasm however they want. They have no idea that mental arousal or genital stimulation is required. Orgasm is a specific physiological response of the human body and should not be defined by fantasies or erotic fiction. Women brag about orgasm to impress others. They trust that their statements will be accepted because they repeat popular beliefs about female sexuality. Unfortunately, men are so mesmerized by stories of female orgasms that these women often manage to get the attention they want.
Boosting orgasm is a simple box-ticking exercise for women. They do not refer to arousal or sexual pleasure. Some women suggest that a lover stimulate them vaginally and others clitorally. This reflects the sexual passivity of women. They don’t talk about their lover’s body and her desire to stimulate a lover. Women never talk about what turns them on (such as genitals or explicit sexual activity) in the appreciative way that men do. Women suggest that they are aroused by images of pornography. If so, they would also get turned on by real things, like male genitalia or ejaculate.
Most people are interested in women’s response to intercourse. The male sex drive means that men want to have sex over any other sexual activity. So women want to understand how intercourse can be as pleasurable for them as it obviously is for men. For those women who convince themselves that they really do have an orgasm with a lover, research substantiating their orgasms with a lover is obviously very helpful and lends some authenticity to their claims.
Therefore, we have two problems: first, the male version of sexual desire is the one that unfairly measures women. Second, women try too hard to please men who need more realistic expectations about women’s sexuality. (Joan Sewell 2010)