It is surprising to the opposing party or target how the high conflict personality (HCP) can win in court most of the time. This is because the Family Court is based on the Art of Persuasion. The party that is able to persuade the judge to believe her story is the party that will prevail. People with Personality Disorders are extremely adept at the Art of Persuasion because they have many years of practice. This puts them at an advantage.
The general way people convince each other is based on a variety of factors:
1. The attractiveness of the person
2. How aggressive are they?
3. How safe are they?
4. The number of arguments they make
5. The intensity of his language
6. The use of smaller words and shorter sentences.
7. Use distractions
8. Their relationship with the person they are trying to persuade
9. His emotional appeal
When it appears that the judge, in the Family Court case, is not buying the HCP’s case, they will switch gears and increase their emotional intensity. This is especially effective because healthcare professionals often lose control of what the facts really are, thus relying on emotions to get their case heard and believed. HCPs have developed highly effective skills in this area, so they can more easily manipulate the presiding judge into believing their version of events.
People with HCP are very good actors and Family Court is a giant stage for them. While the low-conflict person relies on calm, truthful testimony to make the judge believe their case, the HCP uses techniques such as dramatic speech patterns, crying, body movements, and non-stop talking to get their drama going. Judges are drawn to these because they can identify with them. They are part of interpersonal commitment. The dramatic presentation of the HCP is remembered much longer than the rational, fact-based presentation of a reasonable person.
HCPs may even engage in labeling the other parent using phrases such as neglectful, lazy, abusive, and inadequate parenting. These words may have nothing to do with the case or have facts to support the words, but if used repeatedly with emotion, they stick in the mind of the presiding judge.
Knowing about HCPs and how they can manipulate people is the first step in understanding, identifying, and stopping HCP behaviors before and after entering the Family Court arena.