Single men have to chat with every woman they sleep with. For some men, the thrill of the chase and the novelty of a new partner make the hard work worth it. Having gone to the trouble of persuading a woman to have sex with him, some men don’t want to start the process all over again with another woman. A man needs a regular sexual outlet and this is most easily obtained by entering into a relationship with a woman.
Men are turned on by women’s bodies and get their greatest satisfaction from ejaculating in the vagina. But they don’t thank a woman for giving them an orgasm. A man usually gets his own stimulation from him through thrusting. In his eyes, a man creates his own orgasm. For the same reasons, women never brag about their lovers’ orgasms. Male orgasm tends to occur reliably, but a man’s implicit or explicit gratitude can make a woman feel loved.
Straight men get confused by references to the clitoris. Their sex drive (to have penetrative sex) focuses them on the vagina. Why would a woman have sex with a man if she wants clitoral stimulation? She can get that alone or with another woman. A man assumes that a woman is focused on the same act as him. He overlooks the fact that a woman just needs to be willing to have sex rather than driven to get it.
Men assume that women enjoy sex unless their behavior indicates otherwise. As long as a woman does nothing to challenge a man’s belief in her alleged sexual pleasure (orgasm during intercourse or other activity with him), he feels comfortable. The fact that he never talks about sexual pleasure and that he never initiates sexual contact doesn’t bother her. This is an emotional belief that does not withstand scientific challenge.
Women have different sexual roles including mistress, concubine, prostitute, vixen, and whore. There are no male equivalents because men are receptive. This is a key difference between male and female sexuality. Women’s behaviors vary according to their willingness to help with the male orgasm.
Women’s behavior of claiming to have an orgasm with a lover is just another way that women avoid proactively engaging in erotica that men enjoy. A man never challenges because he has what he wants: the implied consent of a woman. Men don’t appreciate how easily they can be exploited by women telling them what they want to hear. Who is operating on whom? It probably depends on how smart you are to get more than you give.
Most people never comment on sexual topics. Those who do (a small minority) are politically motivated and rarely interested in facts and logic. Men insist that women love sex as much as they do. To attract men, women suggest that they are always sexually willing. The silent majority ignore this bravery, but many others feel they have missed something. They are under the impression that others have better experiences.
Consent is not a natural concept for many men. They only see his side of sexual attraction. As long as they are aroused by a woman, they can guarantee her ability to stimulate her through intercourse and thus (in her eyes) provide women with sensational pleasure. Just as a man does not want to lose the opportunity that an erection gives him, he assumes that a woman would not want to lose the opportunity that her erection gives him. That opportunity is intercourse. It is oblivious to any reproductive risk or social problems.
Given the background of the antisocial activities of other people of their sex (rape, sexual harassment, etc.), men equate talking about the female orgasm with a green light. When a woman says that she has an orgasm, a man accepts her version no matter how lame it may be. Still, there are complicated conditions that do not apply when men want sex. A woman needs to feel loved and respected. She wants the right to rescind her consent at any time.
The most basic consent that a husband has from his wife allows him to take the initiative and make all the effort involved in penetrating her and pushing her until he ejaculates. Many wives offer nothing more than being available. Prostitutes offer sex by default, but for a higher price they can also offer fellatio. If a man is rich, he may have a mistress in addition to his own family, who may engage more explicitly in a man’s specific sexual needs and fantasies. Some societies or religions allow a man to have more than one wife, which increases his chances of finding a more proactive mistress.
Anyone willing to acknowledge the unequal sexual drives of men and women tends to focus on ideas to increase women’s enthusiasm for sexual intercourse. No one is suggesting that men try to reduce their sex drive. Men think that their regular arousal is always a positive asset (in case a sexual opportunity arises). However, men’s response to images of seemingly docile, partially clothed women leads to significant frustration.
Workplaces must enforce formal dress protocols that are the same for both genders. Men show only hands, neck and head. Women should be forced to do the same even in summer, just as men do. Advertising in all its forms must ban images of semi-nude and seemingly seductive women used to promote products from women’s underwear to cars.
Instead of having sex, many women simply want to look like they’re having sex. (Bella Ellwood-Clayton 2013)